That’s What She Said

(I’m permanently black and blue.)

It’s a nice sunny day today.  It’s supposed to be even nicer soon.  I had yesterday off and have today off, too.  Today I took myself out to breakfast at two in the afternoon.  I ordered one corn cake with maple syrup and margarine, one order of potatoes, one side of avocado, and one cup of coffee which turned into three and a half cups of coffee.  The waiter asked me if it was okay to ask if I skated.  I was confused and he pointed to my shoes.  My lucky vans that are falling apart and have half-hazardly been skated in only twice or maybe three times.  I told him I can go straight and turn, but that’s about it.  He was impressed that they were signed by Geoff Rowley but pronounced his name wrong as everyone does.  He quoted Family Guy and laughed at his own joke.

A homeless guy told me I was beautiful a few days ago when I was running across the street to beat the light.

Last night we went to Hungry Tiger Too and I spent eight dollars on four corn dogs and four beers.  We sat outside in the wind and watched the cans fall over a few times because of it.

The night before that I went to a show that a co-worker was playing.  I got to spend time with my two closest work friends.  We spun around and took pictures.

I’ve been trying to keep in better touch with old friends.  I’m not doing a very good job.

I’m trying to write again but it’s hard when everything stays then same.  Not much to talk about, not many new experiences to spin off into fiction.  I don’t really like blogging about myself but I just want to type or write something at least.

I’m looking forward to going home next month and seeing my family.  My sister’s wedding is going to be a blast and it’ll just be nice to escape monotany for awhile.

- Jocelyn

This conversation pretty much explains what’s been going on with me the last few months.

3:14:03 PM jocelyn: by the way i discovered something amazing today
3:14:13 PM jocelyn: arby’s. RB’s. roast beef sandwiches.
3:14:26 PM jocelyn: OMG IT’S LIKE IT SPELLS OUT THE LETTERS INTO A REAL WORD AND THEN MAKES A RESTAURANT OUT OF IT.
3:15:13 PM lorelei: hahahaha. holy crap. i never realized that. jesus
3:15:18 PM jocelyn: I KNOW
3:15:19 PM jocelyn: okay good
3:15:29 PM jocelyn: i was afraid you were going to say “duh”
3:16:03 PM lorelei: wow…i’m thinking arby’s. i’m thinking rb’s. blows my fucking mind.

Everything is good.  Dance party!

My valentine is Seth.

Here are a couple of the reasons why I love him..

one. He tucks me in at night when I go to sleep before him.

two. He cooks amazing food (especially pizza) and always makes sure I’ve had enough before scooping up leftovers. He’s a messy cook, but I’ve learned to embrace this; it makes the food taste better.

three. He watches embarrassing t.v. shows with me in bed on my laptop. I usually fall asleep on him and he doesn’t mind.

four. He is consistently fun to be around. We’ve had fun in airports, urgent care waiting rooms, and walking to the store in the snow storm.. I’m happy anywhere with him.

five. He gets excited over small things.. like getting new jeans in the mail, or going out to brunch, or a new show on the discovery channel.

six. I still get butterflies in my stomach when I see him. Every damn time.

seven. He visits me at work. He even did this when it was around a 25 mile round trip. I also love making him soy hot chocolates.. with about twice as much chocolate sauce as a normal person gets.

eight. One time I came home and he was super excited about something - turns out he had set up his tent from his tour on our bedroom floor. Our mattress was a little too big to fit in it, though.

nine. He gets along with everyone. I was never nervous if friends or family members were going to like him. My family loves him and asks about how he’s doing all the time.

ten. He knew I was moving to Portland when we first started dating, and it was never an issue for him. We went from a long distance relationship to sharing a bedroom, and have never had any problems with it.

eleven. He has a great sense of style. It’s almost effortless, but he looks hot in just about everything he wears.

twelve. How his face lights up when he’s telling a story or relaying something good that happened to him. He’s a great story teller.

thirteen. His eyes. I don’t know what I can say about them that won’t sound cliche. Every time I look into them, I think I fall in love with him a little bit more.

fourteen. His confidence. You can see it in his walk, how he rides a bicycle, and how he presents himself.

fifteen. We still call each other and text a lot when we’re apart. Until my phone broke, I had about fifty texts saved from him that were the sweetest ones I’ve ever received.

sixteen. He’ll put his arm around me and kiss me at parties and bars. He’s happy enough to be with me to have minorly inappropriate pdas.

seventeen. I truly believe in him. I really think he’s someone that can do anything he wants to in life.

eighteen. I love eating burritos with him. He is my food soul mate.

nineteen. He can read me. If I’m uncomfortable, cold, bored, sad, grumpy, etc.. he knows and will do what he can to snap me out of it.

twenty. When I had to take the bus at 5 a.m. during the snow storm, he got up and walked with me the five blocks to the bus stop. Then he waited with his arms around me to keep me warm until it came. Just because.

twenty-one. We don’t get jealous of one another. We each have plenty of friends of the opposite sex, and it’s never been an issue. We’re not letting either of our past relationships determine our trust for one another.

twenty-two. I love his friends. They were all so welcoming when I came around! He truly has some of the most genuine, hilarious, loyal friends in the world. I’m lucky to be able to call a lot of them mine, too.

twenty-three. I love that he’s close with his family, too. They’re good people, and it’s nice to see how much they all care about each other. His parents are rad, and Keith is a stand-up guy.

twenty-four. He rules at Apples to Apples. I tend to pick his cards because he knows what will make me laugh.

twenty-five. He is by far my favorite person to get drunk with.

twenty-six. Whenever we talk about our future together in such a natural and easy way. He can reference years down the line without me doubting that we’ll be together.

twenty-seven. His greasy hands. While he was working at a temp job, I missed the stains around his fingers from working on bikes. They’re back now. I love holding hands with him and feeling his hands on my back.

twenty-eight. He has the best body I’ve ever encountered. Enough said.

twenty-nine. His patience. Whether it’s having to wait for me to get ready, or something to come in the mail, he has patience that is to be envied.

thirty. He’s protective enough to make me feel loved, but not over protective. I like being with a guy that would get in a fight for me, for good reason.

thirty-one. He loves animals as much as I do. Especially puppies. One of these days we’re going to get one.. I also love that he’s vegan and, like me, not a preachy asshole about it to others.

thirty-two. His taste in music, art, movies, etc. It doesn’t always agree with mine, especially the music part, but our interests are very compatible.

thirty-three. He makes me the best sandwiches and he’s always willing to make me one.

thirty-four. When he smiles, you can see it on his whole face. Even his eyes smile. I feel wonderful when I can make him do it..

thirty-five. .. and when I make him laugh I feel like the funniest person in the world. He has an amazing laugh.

thirty-six. His scar on his right cheek from the chicken pox. It’s my favorite place to kiss. When I kiss him there, I can feel him smile with my lips.

thirty-seven. I love that when we were in different places of California, we wrote letters to each other. I have every letter, envelope, and little note he has ever written to me saved.

thirty-eight. He pushes me, but never pressures me.

thirty-nine. He gives me compliments enough to make me feel special, but not enough so that I don’t believe them anymore. He’ll tell me I’m the prettiest girl in a room full of people, and I’ll actually believe that he thinks that.

forty. The couple times we’ve gone shopping together, he’s picked out clothes that were about two sizes too small for me. It’s cute that he thinks I’m skinnier than I am.

forty-one. I can tell him anything, and vice versa. He’s my aly.

forty-two. We call each other dumb cutesy names and I’m okay with that.

forty-three. The fact that he completed his tour from San Diego to Vancouver B.C. Watching him prepare for months and accomplish what he set out to do was inspiring to say the least. His stories and journals from the trip are unreal. I couldn’t be more proud of him.

forty-four. He cleans up nice. We went to “prom” last year and I got to see him in a suite and tie.. and I loved watching him look for jobs in a collared shirt. I still think he looks best in cargos and cut off t-shirts, though.

forty-five. Singing along with him to songs in the car when it’s just us.

forty-six. I don’t get embarrassed when I do dumb things around him. I couldn’t be more comfortable with him.

forty-seven. He is the best, most passionate kisser of my life.

forty-eight. I can’t picture my life without him. I want to see him and tell him I love him every day for the rest of my life.

forty-nine. He is my best friend.

fifty. We make sense. And I think he and I will make it.

We owned a bar together.  We would sit on the stools after we closed and play dice and chew on lime slices.

we cheersed with cheap beer to being in love.

I tried to let this little bird fly away, but she was too young and crashed. I had to put her under my shirt to protect her and carry her back to her cage. She was too big for her birdhouse, so I broke it in half.

That I was sitting on a hotel rooftop with Heath Ledger. He told me he wanted to feel small, so I sat behind him and held him in my arms.

I’m in Portland.  It’s my second night here.. my first night in my new room.  Today I bought and/or set up my bookshelves, nightstand, hamper, and bed.  It really does look like Ikea barfed in my room.  I think it’s a twenty-something’s right of passage.

Matt, get up here.  No excuses.

Seth, August fifth is much too far, please leave sooner and pedal fast.

And Amanda and Lorelei.. c’mon.  And Chelsea, too.

I have two amazing roommates, and three lovely animal friends to share my condo with.  Life is good.

- Jocelyn

P.S.  I miss my mom.

Seth and I have been together since December 27.  I feel incredibly lucky to call him my boyfriend.  He treats me with all the love and respect I could imagine.  Most importantly, he is my best friend.. I am my best when I am around him, and we make an amazing team.

He’s my partner in crime.  I can’t picture myself not loving him.

- Jocelyn